by Helen McConnell | Dec 31, 2014
I’ve often wondered if I could figure out a set of “core issues” that could help me help my clients to get fast-track results. Not everyone is ready for speedy changes, but some people who find their way to me are really wanting to make some big shifts.
I’ve worked with hundreds of clients one-to-one, and hundreds more in group settings. And I’ve done, and continue to do, my own “inner work.” I work on my own and with other practitioners, because it’s impossible to see my own stuff. I need someone to help me see what I’m missing.
There is one fairly common “issue” that affects almost everyone (if not absolutely everyone) I’ve done EFT with. And that is Personal Power. Personal Power is about knowing who you are. It’s about being authentic. Personal Power is about “power to” [do things]; not “power over” [other people]. It’s about not trying to be someone you’re not so that someone else will love you. It’s about having the strength and the determination to stand in your inner power at all times. It means having the courage to be vulnerable – not hard-assed. When you are in your power, you won’t need to tell anyone or prove it to anyone.
You may be giving your mental power away by thinking, over and over, about some past event. You’re wasting a lot of energy, and likely keeping yourself from accomplishing things you want to accomplish – because someone is getting your power.
Would you like to get your power back? Would you like to be in charge of your personal results? Here’s an exercise to help you determine who you’re giving your power away to, and what you can do to get your power back. It might be someone in your life currently, or someone from your past. Start by mentally scanning your life – from current to earliest memories. Scan quickly, but not too quickly; slowly, but not too slowly. Don’t stop on any event, but notice WHO you shrink in front of. WHO you stay quiet in front of. WHO you can’t be authentic in front of. Is there someone (past or present) who’s anger makes you want to hide? Was there a parent, or parents, who were tyrants? Or on the flipside, parent or parents who never set any boundaries? Were you ignored by your parents? Were you abandoned? Have you been trying so hard to win someone’s approval? Do you resist sharing your true self in intimate relationships? Do your kids “rule the roost?” Do you try to control your kids’ lives and futures? These are all ways we give our power away, or take it from others (which is the other side of the same coin).
Write down any and all names that come up in the life scan. Next to each name, rate the intensity (0-10) of “How much I give away my power to this person.” Then go here to watch a short video, and tap along about “Even though I give my power away…” After each round of Tapping, be sure to write down the new intensity number. When one person’s number gets to a 0, 1 or 2, move on to the next person. After you tap on a few of the people on your list, the rest will likely “generalize”- lose their intensity without tapping, as a result of their common emotional threads with the others.
by Helen McConnell | Dec 19, 2014
December 19, 2014
Don’t Waste Your Energy!
I’m referring to your personal energy – your thought energy and your movement energy. Your thoughts and actions consume most of the personal energy you have. So take time throughout the day to check in and see where you’re using – or wasting – your personal energy.
What are you thinking about and feeling about? Right now. Stop and take a deep breath in. Notice ANY place in your body where there is tension or discomfort. Did you know that these are signals from your body about your emotions? These ARE your emotions! Notice one of these feelings right now. Does it feel “good”- easy, flowing, “smooth”? Is your body relaxed and posture good, and are you breathing deeply and regularly? Or does it feel “bad” – stuck, solid, queasy? Is there a tightness in your chest or belly, shoulders or lower spine? Is your breathing shallow? These bodily feelings are the mouthpiece of your mind – one way you can know what’s going on in your thoughts. Because we have over 60,000 thoughts a day – we can’t possible be aware of them all. But by feeling our feelings, we can at least be aware of the gist of the majority of our thoughts. Our thoughts create our emotions.
If you’re feeling “bad” feelings, then you are having thoughts that are not productive. You’re wasting your energy. I know, I know, you have to feel stressed, right? So many of my clients tell me this. But it’s not true. You can be productive without a bunch of negative stress. In fact, you can be MORE productive, MORE creative, MORE collaborative. I provided a Tapping Script here to help you release stress, and get calm.
And then there are those problems that you’re thinking about. Maybe you had a disagreement with your spouse or child, or maybe you had an unpleasant interaction with a colleague, or maybe a stranger yelled or honked at you, and you’re still seething. You’re NOT going to solve anything by ruminating on the problem! This is another waste of your personal energy. To put it in simple terms, I quote Einstein who said: “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.” So the more you focus on the problem, the more you will find ways to think about the problem. You’ve got to get to a new “level of consciousness” in order to solve that problem. That’s not the way most of us were taught. In fact, we’re taught a form of “mental hand-wringing” that is completely non-productive. I know, too, that you have had experiences when you were thinking really hard about a problem and you came up with a solution. Consider: even though it was a solution, it might not have been the best possible solution; and the only way you came up with it was that your mind wandered away from the problem.
Here’s a short video to help you move your mind away from those “repeating thoughts.” This technique is so easy that you’ll doubt it’s efficacy. I urge you to try it.
There are so many great things you could be doing with your energy. Like making all those dreams you have come true! Most people waste over 60% of their daily personal energy. Just poof! and they’ve thought it away or took meaningless actions – and they end up zombie-like in front of the TV or gaming screen at the end of the day, the week, the year! It’s time to STOP. Slow down. Wake up to your thoughts, feelings and actions. And begin to Master Your Mind. It’s not too late – no matter your age. You CAN learn to harness your precious personal energy. Sign up here for a F*R*E*E 5-part program “Stop Your Energy Leaks – and begin to Master Your Mind.” This program will come to your inbox each day for 5 days. It’s short, it’s sweet, and it’s powerful stuff.
Here’s to You!
by Helen McConnell | Nov 21, 2014
Beliefs are just thoughts that we think over and over. These thoughts become beliefs because we attach a lot of emotion to them, so they stick with us.The roots of most of our beliefs began back when we were little enough to believe that Santa – the man – would drop in with presents. And these beliefs have stuck with us ever since, forming the foundation of our reality – our LIFE! Beliefs are not solid, but they feel like it when we try to “wish them away.”
How are your beliefs affecting your life?
Our mind is so powerful that once we “believe” something, our unconscious mind will look for evidence that our beliefs are true. So, if you got a belief when you were a kid that “I’m not good enough,” or “I’m not pretty,” or any other belief that was programmed into you, your mind has been going around LOOKING for evidence that you’re not good enough, or you’re not pretty. And if evidence to the contrary shows up, your mind will argue it away. Like, if someone tells you you’re beautiful, you will say “no I’m not!” or think to yourself “they have NO taste if they think I’m pretty.” That can be a real problem in relationships when the person of your dreams tells you how beautiful you are, and all you can think is “there must be something WRONG with you!” Even if you don’t say those words, your energy will project those feelings, and you will likely sabotage the relationship – settling only for someone who thinks you’re “plain.”
In your professional relationships, your unconscious beliefs are equally as powerful. They can affect how much money you make, how people treat you at work, and your overall feeling of success. Before I understood these concepts, and before Tapping, my professional life in the traditional business world was fraught with repeating patterns of being underpaid, overworked, bosses who found me “daunting,” co-workers who got on my nerves. These were all reflections of my own limiting beliefs about what I deserved and my lack of self-esteem.
ARE YOU READY TO MAKE A CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE?
If you’re like most people I talk to and work with, you are ready to make some big changes in your life. You’re tired of not living the life you desire. You’re tired of taking teeny tiny baby steps towards your dreams. You’re tired of reading self-help books that offer inspiration, but no real help. Maybe you’ve hired a coach and gotten some great ideas, but can’t seem to implement them. it’s time to shift your beliefs!
What does it feel like to shift or release a belief? People are often afraid to release a belief. They are afraid there will be a big emptiness inside, or that they will drop through a trap-door into nothingness. Well, here are a couple of the cool things about Tapping for a limiting belief: It doesn’t hurt. You get to choose what to let go of. Every person I’ve worked with has said they feel lighter and freer. And your reality will shift.
When we Tap for a limiting belief, we don’t clear one belief and replace it with another one, we simply tap away the belief and let YOU shine! Because you see, you – the essence of you – is like a giant plate glass window. Over time, your window has had mud (limiting beliefs) splashed and thrown on it, dust (negative thought patterns) has collected, maybe some eggs (traumas) have been thrown on it. The view from your window has gotten cloudy and dirty. And you even believe that there is something wrong with your window (your essence). But there’s nothing wrong with you. We just need to clean the glass, so that you can see the world and yourself clearly, and so your essence can show up!
I invite you to take a moment to consider a belief you hold about yourself. “I’m too old, I’m not old enough, I don’t have enough money, I’m not smart enough, people don’t like me, I’m too fat, I’m too —–(fill in the blank), I’m not good enough.” Pick one that you hold. EVERYONE holds limiting beliefs about themselves – even Oprah and Richard Branson. Write down ONE belief that you have been holding.
Ask yourself how long you’ve had it. Is it a “Family Heirloom”- a belief that has been passed down from generation to generation? In that case, you’ve had it your whole life – since before you were born. Or maybe you got your belief when you were 2 or 3 or 4 years old – when a parent angrily said “What is WRONG with you?” You don’t need to know exactly where you got it, but it helps to notice how long you’ve had it.
Now ask yourself how this belief has affected your life – all areas of your life. Just gently scan over your life and notice where this belief has caused discomfort, pain, and limitation.
Now ask yourself “Who would I be without this belief?” Starting right now, how would you show up in the world if you no longer believed that you were “less than,” or “too old,” or “broken.” Are you ready to become that person? Without this belief, you are closer to your True Essence. You are more confident. You are more loving and more loveable.
Releasing Beliefs DOES NOT detract from who you are! It enhances the TRUE YOU. Carrying a limiting belief around is like holding yourself hostage. And if you’re like most, you have more than one limiting belief. It’s time to be free.
This work isn’t for everyone! Not everyone is really ready to make the changes they say they want to make. The majority of people will rather stay safe and small and uncomfortable, rather than make a big change in their life. But if you’re reading this, you are READY to consider doing this work.
Is it hard work? No. Tapping makes all of our emotional work so gentle and safe. Plus, you will have my support through the process. You will be amazed at how quickly your life begins to change for the better. You will see the world in a whole new way. And don’t worry – your family will still recognize you!
How long does it take? I have helped clear a belief in as little as 5 minutes, creating a whole new perspective for my client. And sometimes it takes a few sessions to really “get it all.” We want to be thorough in our work. So there’s no way to really say how long it will take.
Just one belief? There is often one CORE belief that keeps us stuck. And along with that core belief, we have other beliefs that are like offshoots from those roots. In our work together, we will determine 3 beliefs that you are holding that are no longer serving you. And together will will Tap on all the aspects of one belief at a time. You will set a goal or intention of something you’d like to change in your life, and we will monitor your progress as we Tap. You may release one, two or all three of these beliefs over the course of this program.
A special program for my loyal followers. You may have been following me for a few years or a few weeks, and you know I give a TON of content. If you and I have worked together, you know I over-deliver the VALUE. In one session we often clear what would have taken several months in traditional therapy. So, NOW THAT YOU’RE READY TO CHANGE, I invite you to work with me – by phone or Skype, or by Google Hangout. Click here to learn more!
by Helen McConnell | Oct 9, 2014
The Law of (Mental) Attraction
LEARNING VS. KNOWING: Desire & Expectation
I have been studying the Law of Attraction for over 20 years. OK, well I dabbled in it for about 15 of those years, and then I really set to studying it. I thought I KNEW a lot about this Law, but I have discovered that there is always more to learn. What a shift for me from the days of always feeling ashamed that I didn’t know everything! And also to know that I can be an expert and still not know everything. So if you have questions about the Law of Attraction, ask me. I’ll share what I know, and we’ll learn together!
Can you feel the energetic difference between KNOWING and LEARNING? “Knowing” sometimes has kind of a hardness to it – a brick-wall, inflexibility. Whereas “learning” has so much flexibility, and curiosity, and excited energy. Don’t get me wrong, there are there are times when “knowing” is very powerful. But learning keeps us young and vibrant. Together, knowing and learning can lead us to new awakenings and higher awareness. Even when I’m sharing something I “know,” I like discussing and getting a new perspective (learning someone else’s point of view).
Just today I learned some new things about the Law of Attraction – things I maybe heard before, but they never really sank in. I’ve been reading and studying “Working With the Law -11 Truth Principles for Successful Living,” by Raymond Holliwell. This book was published in 1964 – long before “The Secret,” and years after “The Science of Getting Rich.” All these books teach about similar principles, but each author offers slightly different insights. They all teach about the Law of Attraction, amongst other things.
So what did I learn today, after all these years, about the Law of Attraction? Well, there are two parts to activating this law: Desire and Expectation. This is important stuff here! This is the difference between manifesting by design, and manifesting by default.
When we desire something, we set the having of it in motion. By desiring, we set things in motion. The thing we desire now already exists in the invisible formless substance that we call The Field, or The Field of Pure Potentiality – simply because we desire it. Thoughts are very powerful things, bringing that which we desire into physical form, so it pays to begin to master our thoughts.
Next we have to expect to get the thing we desire. Expectation is a powerful energy, and is the complementary force to desire. Without expectation, the manifestation of the thing we say we desire often fails flat. Without expectation, our thought is merely “wishful thinking.” Expectation is like the gravity that pulls the desired thing into physical form. That’s an oversimplification, but it gives you an image you can hold on to.
So if you DESIRE something, and don’t EXPECT to get it, you probably won’t – or at least, it won’t come easily. And if you DON’T DESIRE something, and DO EXPECT to get that thing you don’t desire, you may well attract it into your life. Are you beginning to see how important conscious thinking is? And can you see how our patterned thinking gives us habitual results? Do you know someone who always get what they expect (whether it’s what they want or not)?
TAKE ACTION! It’s not likely that the thing you want is going to drop into your lap while you’re sitting in your living room (though it’s possible!). This isn’t just busyness – running around without focus or intention – but when you get inspiration, follow it. Immediately. (And you know I’m not telling you to do anything stupid!).
Let’s take this new idea out for a test run! I’m going to do this, too, because I’m learning! I’ll let you know how this works for me, and I really want to hear how this works for each of you!
Take a small piece of paper or note card. On it, write something you desire. Since we’re just building our “manifesting muscle,” start with something that might be a surprise to get within 30 days, but not something that you yourself can’t even believe you could manifest (at least not yet). It might be a new pair of boots, a new bike, $500 extra in income, meet a new partner (if you’re single), etc. This thing has to be something you actually desire, and is for your own (or someone else’s) good. Don’t try to think about how it might come to you. Your job is to DESIRE it. Know that if you desire it, it already exists in the formless.
My card says: “I generate $______ in income from multiple sources, easily and with integrity in the next 30 days (by November 8, 2014). I am feeling what it’s like to generate this income. I expect it to come.
Now, I want you to feel what it’s like to manifest what you’re desiring. Really feel it as if you have it. Stay with that feeling for as long as you can – at least 68 seconds. Now, expect to receive/manifest this thing within 30 days. As you turn your attention toward expectation, notice if there is any resistance (the voice in your head, a knot in your stomach, anything that tells you that you don’t really believe it). See below to tap away this resistance! It is important that your expectation is unwavering.
Visualize what it will be like to have this thing. Feel what it will feel like to have it. Use any other senses (taste, touch, smell, sound) that might be involved in the having of this thing. For the next 30 days, be the person who has this thing. Walk like you have it, talk like you have it, make mental plans as if you have it. Do not share this exercise with anyone, with the exception of a person who is fully supportive of the Law of Attraction! You’re learning – you don’t need anyone’s negative thoughts!
Keep this card with you, and throughout the day, every day, pull it out and look at it. Recall your visualization. Enhance it in any way you can. Be grateful for the having of this thing – even before you can hold it in your hand. Feel the feelings of having it.
If you are inspired to take action toward the having of it, take the action. For example, if you desire to meet your soul mate, and you are invited to go dancing…go! And notice where that leads you. The Universe responds when we take action.
Pay attention to the signs all around you. Notice examples of the thing you desire all around you. Be grateful whenever you see those boots, or that happy couple or signs of increased wealth, and know it is coming closer to you. And enjoy the process of bringing it closer. Don’t work too hard at it – an easy mind is the most powerful.
In 30 days, if you do these steps, the thing you desire will be yours, or will be considerably closer to being yours. These laws work outside our understanding of time, so when we say 30 days, it is based on our own limited images of what is possible. If you don’t have any sign that this thing is coming closer to you, try digging deeper into your own beliefs. If you hold a deep-seated belief that “Nothing good ever happens to me,” then you will be repelling your deepest desires. Those deep beliefs can also be dissolved using Tapping. Please feel free to contact me if you need help with this.
If you’d like a daily email reminder to “Look at your Desire Card, and expect that it’s coming to you,” please click here. It will be a short and sweet inspiration email for each of the 30 days.
Now, here’s the Tapping for if you felt resistance about “Expecting” the thing you desire. This is a general tapping – so you can use it to pinpoint your own resistance and tap on that.
Rate your resistance, using the 0-10 scale of intensity. Write the number down.
Tapping On the Karate Chop Point, say these phrases:
Even Though I want this thing, but part of me doesn’t really expect to get it, I Deeply & Completely Love & Accept Myself.
Even Though I really want this thing, and I can almost imagine having it, I’ve been taught not to get my hopes up, so I don’t want to expect it, and I Deeply & Completely Love and Accept Myself.
Even Though I can feel what it feels like to have this thing, and I want to believe in all this stuff, I’m pretty cynical and I don’t want to be a “daydreamer,” and I Deeply & Completely Love and Accept Myself anyway
(Tapping around the Points:)
-Top of Head: I really want this thing
-Eyebrow: But I’m afraid to expect it
-Outer Eye: I don’t want to be disappointed
-Under Eye: I don’t want to get my hopes up by expecting it
-Under Nose: So I shouldn’t even want it in the first place
-Chin: But I really want this thing, and part of me believes this might work
-Collarbone: It’s NOT going to work if I’m only “half in”
-Under Arm: And I really want this thing
(Keep Tapping around the points as you say these phrases:
-Maybe I could try it for 30 days
-I’ve got nothing to lose
-And I might really get this thing
-OK, I’m going to do it
-I’m “All in”
-I feel like I have this thing
-And I’m expecting it to come
-With an easy mind
Take a deep breath. Re-rate your resistance. If any remains, do this Tapping routine again until it’s gone.
Here’s to your prosperity!
by Helen McConnell | Aug 21, 2014
WANT TO LOOK & FEEL YOUNGER without surgery, injections, or potions? Here’s how:
Don’t Believe Everything You Believe! (An exercise is included, and I’m giving an online class!)
What? Yes, you read that right – DON’T believe everything you believe! Your beliefs are what create your reality. And if you’re not liking your reality – any of it or all of it, you MUST change your beliefs!
What? OK, I know this concept is new to many, and feels a bit “out there.” But neuroscience is proving what ancient cultures (and some of us) have known for a long time. If you don’t believe it, you can’t create it. Or said another way “You become what you believe.”
This is a complex topic, and I will be doing my best to present it in an easy-to-understand manner over the next few months.
In his book, “You Are the Placebo,” Dr. Joe Dispenza (who was in the movie “What the Bleep Do We Know…?”), gives statistical data and real-life examples of the power of our beliefs to shape our healing, our finances, our relationships, and every other part of our reality. Dr. Dispenza himself had a major accident when he was 22, and in this book tells how he healed his own broken body – to the amazement of doctors and surgeons.
When I was a kid, I used to make myself sick when I didn’t want to go to school. I could conjure up a real stomach ache, a real sore throat, or a real headache – in very short order. My mom was pretty cool about sick days, and she would suggest I go for a walk on the beach and I’d feel better. We lived very near the beach in those days, and she was right – I always felt better. So I decided that if I could make myself sick so quickly, then I could make myself healthy and vibrant. I’ve rarely been sick since then. And when I have gotten sick, I can see how my mind played a huge part in the illness. Usually stress was the cause. I even got through menopause with only one symptom – I stopped getting my period. I ALWAYS believed it would be that way for me. I have healed myself of migraines, anxiety, sore joints, back pain, and more – by using the power of my mind and my beliefs (and incorporating Tapping). And you can too!
Don’t believe me? Like I said, don’t believe everything you believe! Give this a try for yourself. Are you feeling “old?” I invite you – challenge you – to consider that aging is a state of mind. We learn about aging from our parents and grandparents, teachers, and society. The media give us images that make us feel bad about ourselves if we have a wrinkle or a mole. Your brain sees those images, and your body hears your thoughts about them. So give your brain and body a new perspective on aging. For 30 days, look in the mirror – look deeply into your own eyes – and gently say “I am getting younger and more vital every day! I’m excited about life. You are beautiful!” Tap on the tapping points as you say it, and also notice any resistance, negative thoughts, or doubts that come up as you say those words. Keep tapping until the negative thoughts, doubts, or resistance are dissipated. Look for examples of vibrant people in your daily life. Acknowledge & appreciate them at least in your mind. I guarantee that if you do these steps every day for 30 days – just as I’ve instructed above – that you will feel younger and people will notice a difference in you!
If you’d like to make positive changes in other areas of your life, and re-frame some of your other beliefs, you won’t want to miss joining me for a series of one-hour online courses called “Retrain Your Brain”, designed to help you do just that. Each class will be content-rich and experiential, too! We will use Tapping and other tools to help clear away the old beliefs that aren’t serving you, and instill some new, more-positive beliefs. And even if you think your beliefs are positive, they may not be “big enough” to allow you to be, do, or have what you say you want. Come and learn how to expand your beliefs!
What would it be worth to you to feel younger? What would it be worth to you to improve your relationships (at home, at work, in the world)? What would it be worth to you to have a new outlook about money and prosperity?
Well each one-hour class is only $15, and when you register, you can listen live on the call and receive a downloadable recording of the class to your inbox (or just receive the recording if you can’t be live!). Or you can sign up for the whole series for only $96 (that’s only $12 per call!). I will be asking participants for actual examples. You may get to tap with me directly on the call. And everyone can get “Borrowed Benefits” by Tapping along (remember how your brain knows what to do with the Tapping – even if the story is different from your own?). We are all in this together!
Here are the dates and topics (all times are Pacific Time). When you register, you will receive the call-in information. After each call, registrants will receive a link to the downloadable recording!
-Thursday, August 28, 5:00-6:00 pm “Feel Younger/Have Vibrant Health, #1”
-Monday, September 1, 4:00-5:00 pm “More Money, Prosperity & Happiness, #1”
-Thursday, September 4, 4:00-5:00 pm “Create Enriching Relationships, #1”
-Sunday, September 14, 10:00-11:00 am “Feel Younger/Have Vibrant Health, #2”
-Monday, September 15, 4:00-5:00 pm “More Money, Prosperity & Happiness, #2”
-Thursday, September 18, 4:00-5:00 pm “Create Enriching Relationships, #2”
-Friday, September 26 10:00-11:00 am “Feel Younger/Have Vibrant Health, #3”
-Wednesday, October 1, 4:00-5:00 pm “More Money, Prosperity & Happiness, #3”
I look forward to having you on the calls, and helping you to re-write your limiting programming!
Go here to register for one, some, or all of the calls!
