by Helen McConnell | May 15, 2013
Everything is energy. Everything we see, and everything we don’t see is energy. Everything we touch, and everything we can’t touch is energy. Even our thoughts are energy.
Let that settle in for a minute – especially if it’s a new concept to you.
This is not woo-woo, this is physics! Ok, it’s woo-woo too!
Energy “vibrates” at certain frequencies. Like frequencies attract like frequencies (birds of a feather flock together). This is, in essence, The Law of Attraction.
Ponder that for a minute. (I know you’re asking “what about “opposites attract?” We’ll cover that in Part 2)
YOU are energy. YOUR THOUGHTS are energy. You and your thoughts vibrate at a certain frequency. You can only attract like frequencies. The higher your frequency, the more abundant your life will be. So if you want to know where your frequency is at, take a look at your life. How’s your health? Your relationships? Your finances? Your happiness? The Law of Attraction is in action 100% of the time. Just because you can’t see it, and even if you don’t believe in it, it’s still working. It’s like the Law of Gravity – you don’t know how it works, you can’t see it, but even if you don’t believe in Gravity, and you jump off a building, you’re gonna hit the ground.
You can change (raise) your personal frequency. With your thoughts. To raise your frequency, you have to think positive thoughts. Not just your conscious thoughts, though. You also create frequencies with your unconscious thoughts. That’s why affirmations work. But affirmations only work if you say them enough times to reprogram your unconscious mind. And most of us can’t do that, because the very thing we’re trying to reprogram, our unconscious mind, sabotages our efforts to use affirmations! What a conundrum. We don’t want to be attracting crap like what we’re thinking!
The Law of Attraction is simple and yet complex. There will be a whole series on this topic in my upcoming newsletter.
But for now, know this: EFT Tapping is the single most effective thing I’ve ever found to raise the personal frequencies of me and my clients (and millions of people around the globe who use Tapping.) And like The Law of Attraction and The Law of Gravity, Tapping works whether you believe in it or not. But unlike Attraction and Gravity, you actually have to tap for it to work. But it’s so easy, why wouldn’t you?
Ask yourself this: Would you like to feel better? Would you like to increase your abundance and prosperity. Would you like more meaningful relationships? You have to raise your vibration. Tapping will do that.
by Helen McConnell | Apr 28, 2013
Often when I ask clients about their self-care, the response is “I’m always so busy taking care of everyone else, and everything else, there’s no time for ME!” Does this sound familiar? Women in general, and mothers in particular, seem to have this idea that it is their job to Be All to Everyone. Imagine if you could be free to give yourself what I call ‘Optimal Self-Care’? Today I offer 3 Key Reasons why Self-Care is the least selfish thing you can do to help you and your family to THRIVE (not just survive).
1-The more you care for yourself, the more you can care for others. It’s like on an airplane when they say “In an emergency, put your own oxygen mask on first, before helping others.” You’re much better equipped to help others if you can breathe! In daily life, everyone has a better chance of surviving (and THRIVING), if you take care of your own breathing needs first. It also sets an example of calm confidence in the face of crisis (either real or perceived). Or as my son told me one day, “When you’re happy, Mom, we’re happy.” What a brilliant young man!
2-Self-Care is about setting good boundaries. The ultimate goal is to “say ‘yes’ when I mean yes, and ‘no’ when I mean no.” And what a great example this sets to those around us (especially children, partner, and co-workers). I think this is the simplest (and often most difficult) practice. I was going to say “especially for women,” but I know many men who have difficulty with this. I have been asked “What if I don’t want to go fishing with my husband, but that’s our only vacation together?” I might ask, “Do you want to go fishing?” No. “Do you want to spend this quality time with your partner?” Yes. “Is there anything about these trips that you enjoy?” Yes. “Do you actually have to do the fishing?” No. “Can you enjoy most of this trip?” Yes. “Now do you want to go?” Yes. (You can ask yourself similar questions to get to yes or no).
3-Make your needs known. Do you ever assume people can read your mind? Culturally, we have been downloaded with the message that says: “people who care about us should just KNOW what we need and want”. We shouldn’t have to ASK for what we need and want! They should be mind-readers. And we should be able to read the minds of those we care about. This creates unspoken expectations that lead to disappointment, misunderstanding, and resentment. Instead, learn to create Verbal Agreements. Creating Agreements requires SPEAKING to one another about wants and needs, listening to one another, and learning to collaborate with the other person to create a situation where hopefully both people get their needs met. Imagine not having to be right all the time, and not having to win. Rather, creating and co-creating an energy of fun and love and fulfillment. Whoa, what a concept.
Does Self-Care sound good to you? If you would like more suggestions for Self-Care, email me and put “10 Tips for Exceptional Self-Care,” in the subject line. I will send you more ideas for THRIVING.
Click Here to Email Helen
If implementing these ideas seems daunting or impossible, contact me for a free phone consultation to see how I can help you shift your personal self-care paradigm!
Click Here to Email Helen
by Helen McConnell | Mar 25, 2013
What is Transformation? And what does it mean when we talk about Personal Transformation? Dictionary definition: A marked change, as in appearance or character, usually for the better.
Transformation, or change for the better, can occur in any area of our lives. Personal Power and Self-Confidence, Finances, Spiritual Awareness, Health and Vitality, Relationships, Physical Environment (your home and parts of your home, your office space, your garden), Limiting Thoughts and Beliefs, Soul Healing, Mental Transformation, and more. Is there an area of your life that you’d like to transform?
Personal Transformation usually begins with willingness. Willingness to be teachable, to let go, to free-fall for awhile, to embrace new ideas, to change. Just a drop of willingness is all it takes. And often, that willingness comes from being “up against a wall,” being exhausted and frustrated, feeling suicidal, going to the brink, getting laid off, getting divorced, a health crisis. Is there any area of your life that feels that way? Are you Struggling? Are you in pain (physical or emotional)? Do you feel overwhelmed by Life? Are you losing hope? Are you “up against a wall?”
Wouldn’t it be amazing if you could reinvigorate your life and your relationships? What if you felt hopeful and vibrant again? What if your pain was gone and you were filled with joy? Imagine if you were empowered and powerful, without being scary or daunting or bitchy? Can you envision yourself as brilliant and beautiful and graceful?
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This is what Transformation is all about. You’re not too old! You’re not too far down. It’s never too late to begin! Wouldn’t now be a great time to find yourself?
I love EFT because it can so swiftly help us overcome a lifetime of limiting beliefs and negative thought patterns. With EFT we can clear traumas. And when we combine EFT with meditation, compassion for ourselves, and a commitment to Accountability for ourselves, Life begins to be joyous. We begin to find our True Nature and True Purpose. We begin to care for ourselves and love ourselves. And we begin to change and grow and Transform.
More on Transformation in Part 2
by Helen McConnell | Mar 19, 2013
It’s easy to say the words Nike uses “Just Do It.” But it’s not always so easy to just DO it. We think we REALLY want to do something (lose weight, launch your business, attract a love partner, or even something “smaller” like de-clutter our home), but we resist. We DO all kinds of things except the thing we say we really want. That, my friend, is RESISTANCE. And for most of us, no amount of Will Power is going to get us past the resistance. It’s like our feet are glued to the floor – with Permanent Super Glue for Stuckness. We are bonded to the floor. And believe me, I KNOW what it’s like to be Super Stuck!
The Super Glue comes from messages from our sub-conscious mind, and it is so powerful because it’s “glueing” us about 80% of the time – keeping us STUCK right where we are. Our conscious mind knows we want to move forward. Like in that dream (nightmare) where we’re running and going nowhere. If any part of your life feels glued, let’s get unstuck!
We can use affirmations, but they don’t usually work because: a) our mind says the affirmation is a lie; and b) we don’t usually say the affirmation 100 times a day for 30 days (which is what it takes to reprogram our mind with positive phrases alone).
Don’t despair! There is a solution! Tapping works like Kryptonite Super Glue Remover on Super Stuckness!
If you’re not familiar with Tapping, go here to watch my basic how-to video. It’s so simple. So gentle. So effective. Use Tapping for everything, and use it often.
This is a Tapping Script to accompany the “What’s Stopping You?” blog post, and “What’s Stopping You?” video I posted recently.
Before you start tapping, know this: Your unconscious mind works in tandem with your body to KEEP YOU SAFE. However, this response is from our Primitive Brain, and has been forwarded to us from our Primitive ancestors. They needed to be ready to “fight or flight or freeze” when they came upon a tiger or other predator. Most of our “fight or flight” has been socialized out of us (“Don’t hit your brother.” “No, you can’t leave the classroom, even if the teacher is being mean to you.” and on and on). So we resort to “Freeze,” for every perceived threat. Our unconscious mind thinks that “Could you come into my office, please?” is a threat. Life or death. So we freeze. All of our bodily functions are redirected to protecting us, and that means no creativity, no clarity of thought, and a desire to escape. And so it is with the things we really want to do. Unconsciously there are perceived threats if we succeed. Lose weight=lose friends; Successful business=Disdain from family; Decluttering = Overwhelm and too much work and emotion. The Freeze response stops us before we can even start. Let’s do something about that! NOW you can tap :-). Use the script below, or adapt it. Even if it isn’t your issue, you can use the words below. Your unconscious mind knows what to do with it.
Start by measuring your resistance. This is Subjective – no need to over think it. Say out loud “I will enjoy eating healthy.”
On a scale of 0-10, how true is that statement for you. Write this number down.
As you tap, notice any thoughts or images that come up for you. Stop and write those down. Then tap on each one when you finish this one.
On the Karate Chop Point (KC):
Even though (ET) I want to start eating healthy, but I can’t seem to get started, I deeply and completely Love and Accept Myself (ID&CL&AM)
ET I want to create better health for myself, I keep getting stuck, sabotaging myself before I begin, and ID&CL&AM
ET I WANT to be healthier than I am now and I deserve that, there’s something standing in my way, and ID&CL&AM
[then tapping through the points, one point for each phrase]:
-Eating healthy when I’m hungry
-Fresh, organic food
-Preparing my meals with love
-Eating slowly
-Stopping when I’m full
-Eating healthy could be enjoyable
-Eating healthy could be fun
-Eating healthy would definitely be good for me
Take a deep breath and say the phrase again: “I will enjoy eating healthy.” Now how true is that statement for you? Rate it again on a scale of 0-10. Write this number down. Hopefully, in this case, the number has gone UP! We are trying to find any resistance to eating healthy. So if the number went down, ask yourself why? What was triggered as you said those phrases and tapped? For example, when you said “Preparing my meals with love,” did you get a response like “As if! I hate to cook!” Write this down. Rate the intensity of THIS statement. Then tap on it, saying something like “Even though I hate to cook, ID&CLAAM.” Do this 3 times, then go around the points and say what is true for you about I hate to cook – like “all those dishes,” “I’m too tired when I get home,” “Grocery shopping,” etc. See if you can bring down the intensity. See if new ideas come up for you – solutions to your resistance. Tap on this until you get the intensity down to a 2 or lower. 0 is best. THEN go back to the original statement and say it again and rate it again. The goal for this particular exercise is to get the original statement UP to an 8 or 9 or 10, by getting all the resistance DOWN to a 0,1, or 2. Keep tapping until you are sure you’ve cleared all your resistance. If you don’t finish in one tapping session, come back to it tomorrow and the next day, as needed. Eating is such a prevalent activity, that there may be many aspects of resistance that may not show themselves the first time out. Keep tapping!
by Helen McConnell | Mar 19, 2013
I have never been good at failure. Up until recently, that is. For most of my life, even the slightest failure meant complete defeat to me. I would often just give up and move on, leaving a trail of unresolved failures behind me. I guess no one ever taught me about how the most successful people often experience many failures – and learn from them. Or maybe I just didn’t hear the lesson. Or maybe I heard it, but didn’t really understand it.
Like so many things in life, when the student is ready, the teacher appears. It seems I’ve become ready to learn about failure: how to find the gift and lesson in each failure; how not to get knocked down so far I can’t get up; how to recognize that there is greater success from failure than I could have without it. In other words, my perspective on failure has changed as I’ve changed. I now see failure as adding rich texture to the tapestry that is my life, rather than a thing that pulls the rug out from under me and lands me on my ass.
For so many years, my ego was so fragile that I felt very defensive about anything resembling failure. Even helpful feedback felt awful. I often lashed out, blaming others and trying to hide my mistakes. I didn’t like myself. I certainly didn’t love myself. And I was harder on me than anyone else ever was.
In the past couple of years, I’ve learned to be gentle on me. I’ve learned to be authentic. I’ve learned to like myself. And even to love myself. It seems kind of late in life, but what the hell? I spent a good five years of my life just regretting the previous 50 – feeling like it was too late to get it right, or even to try. Then one day, it was as if I woke up. And instead of pulling myself up by my proverbial bootstraps, I gave myself a gentle, loving hug. I spoke softly and kindly to me. I told myself that I was awesome, and that there was no one else like me at all – and that’s a good thing. I reminded me that it’s NOT too late. Something shifted, and my fragile, immature ego began to lose its defensive grip on me. My ego began to defer to my soul – my wise, wonderful soul. I began to find the Authentic Me.
I had kept all these feelings of failure, along with shame, guilt. humiliation and fear, hidden in the dark recesses of my being. They were in there, bumping around like ghosts, trying to get out. I thought it would be too scary to look at them, so i didn’t even try. I tried to drink them away with alcohol. I tried to drug them away. I tried to comfort them with food. I tried to release the ghosts with excessive exercise. But those were temporary fixes, and ultimately the ghosts just got noisier. Until I couldn’t stand it any more. And I began to reach out for help.
I’ve begun to learn how to shine a loving, gentle light into those dark places. It’s not nearly as scary as I feared. In fact, there’s gold in there! Now that I know how to look. I’m on a Personal Treasure Hunt that will undoubtedly last the rest of my life. What if the next 50 years feel like “success,” as I embrace my failures and love myself? What if I really DO find Treasure in the darkness? What if I can learn to keep the ghosts out? How cool will that be?
