by Helen McConnell | Nov 11, 2015
One of my goals and dreams is to teach adult women to ride a bike. Not everyone learns to ride as a kid, and here in Portland it’s pretty much bike-central. So I’ve begun to teach adult women to ride, and then to go on and obtain a bike of their own.
It usually takes two sessions to learn to ride – for women who have never been on a bike. The first session is spent just getting used to the bike, and balancing. I take the pedals off a bike that is a suitable size, and let the woman sit on the seat and push the bike with her feet. It’s like an adult version of a “Skuut,” which is a balance bike for toddlers. We do this “Skuuting” in a vacant parking lot, around an empty track, or on a Bike Boulevard (a city street that is dedicated to cycling, so has very few cars).
At the second session, we adjust the seat a bit higher, and get the woman on a bike with pedals. Finding the right size bike is imperative – so that she can feel confident. It usually takes only a few tries to get her riding.
Recently, I taught a 39-year-old woman to ride. After pedaling the length of a very long parking lot for the first time, she was in tears. That’s how joyful it is!
I also want to be sure that each woman can have a bike of her own. If she can afford to buy a new bike, I direct her to a local bike shop that is woman-owned, where she can feel comfortable and not be intimidated by all the choices. If she can’t afford a new bike, we work with The Community Cycling Center, where she can purchase a good used bike for a very reasonable price. And of course, we make sure she wears a helmet!
by Helen McConnell | Nov 11, 2015
I often get asked this question. What can I use Tapping for? So I’ve begun a list of the issues I’ve successfully used Tapping – for myself, with clients, or tapping along with another practitioner (like on The Tapping World Summit):
General stress; Anxious feelings; anxiety attacks; traumatic memories (events from the past) and PTSD; recent traumatic events (car accidents, bike accidents, etc.); sleep problems; the common cold (yes, in as little as 20 minutes, all symptoms were gone!); Finding lost items (yes, really!) Chronic Pain; Arthritis; vision problems; clearing clutter; digestive problems; headaches and migraines; Getting clarity (about a problem/solution, or making a decision); moving forward/getting unstuck; spiritual awareness/enlightenment (yes, really!); improved intuition and psychic abilities; shame; guilt; addictions; self-loathing; limiting beliefs of all sorts; money issues; relationship issues; creating a new reality; manifesting big goals; general and specific fears; phobias; panic; conflict resolution; self love; learning to ride a bike; preparing for surgery; recovering from surgery; becoming your genuine self – with love and grace; changing old familial patterns; creating peace; creating heart resonance in a group; healing sexual dysfunction.
What have YOU used Tapping for? How can I help YOU?
by Helen McConnell | Nov 11, 2015
Not Enough Time? Too old to get started? Not enough money?
Those are the top three “reasons” people give for not pursuing their dreams and goals.
Hold on a second. I’m going to call you out on “there’s not enough time.” Americans spend, on average, 31 hours per week watching television! That’s up from 19 hours average in 2005. And since many people I know never watch TV, that means that some are spending even more than 31 hours. That’s enough time to have another full-time job!
And that doesn’t include non-work computer time.
Too old? No way. Read about this woman who had her first book published when she was 90 years old! And this 80-year old yoga instructor and clothing line designer.
Don’t let lack of money stop you. This article gives 5 options for starting a business with little or no capital. And if those ideas don’t match your goals, try these. The point is, don’t give up because of money. Peter Diamandis, founder of the XPrize competition, pitched his idea over 200 times before receiving funding for the technology competition that offered and awarded a $10-million prize to the first privately financed team that could build and fly a three-passenger vehicle 100 kilometers into space twice within two weeks. That was in 1996. The XPrize has been going strong ever since.
So what is it you’ve been dreaming of? Have you been putting it off? I bet you’ve got a big idea percolating in your mind. Like a new product or invention. “There’s not enough time” to write that book, find love, eat well, work out, do tapping, start that non-profit, learn a new language, change careers, spend time with family, read that book, go hiking, take Tango lessons, walk every day, meditate, take care of finances…
Or maybe you’ve been wanting to do something really big in the world – like find a solution for the refugee crises in Europe, or end world hunger, or help women around the world to get an education? Maybe there’s a community project you’d like to work on or begin? Or maybe your family just needs a bit more of your presence?
What if you were to devote just 20 minutes a day of your attention to something meaningful – something you’ve been wanting to do? You can find 20 minutes a day! And if you’re doing what you love, I bet that will turn into 30 minutes a day, or 60. This is how we change the world! You can do it!
Let the world know what you’re dreaming of! Go for it!
Helen
by Helen McConnell | Oct 28, 2015
This past weekend I was honored to spend two days and nights with 15 amazing women at our annual “Portland Society Business Boot Camp.” Portland Society is a non-profit networking group that I belong to. We are a group of women who are passionate about business and bikes – and we gather once a month for a morning educational/inspirational meeting. Once a year we also sponsor the Business Boot Camp. I was asked to be a presenter – how cool is that? – on “Overcoming Fears.” What a great topic for bringing in Tapping!
Fears come in lots of shapes and sizes, and hide behind lots of other things. I’ve discovered that one of the most efficient ways to get to the root of a fear is to ask a specific question.
I gave a short personal history, and then I told them what I know about fear. There are very real fears – like when you’re being attacked or there is a bus speeding toward you – when you’re in imminent physical danger. Our built-in fear response is really good for getting us out of the way of that kind of danger – by fighting back or running away. But there are other kinds of fears that are based on imagined fears – events that aren’t imminent – maybe not even likely. But we’re still afraid of those. These kinds of fears are of things like being humiliated, or possibly having an argument with someone, or speaking up with an idea that is different than the crowd. These are the fears that I like helping people overcome. I have them too!
I asked all the participants to write down something they’ve been avoiding. Like maybe a phone call, or looking at your bills, or making an apology to someone, or having a difficult conversation. You can do this now, too. “What are you avoiding?” Answering this question will quickly lead you to what you’re really afraid of, and it isn’t usually what we think.
The participants each wrote down their answers. I then asked for volunteers – who would like to share what they’ve been avoiding, and possibly get to the root of it, and be free? Janice (not her real name) raised her hand and said she’s been avoiding emailing an established client to announce a rate increase for her services. Janice is a writer, and has been working with this client for some time. She didn’t think her client would even mind the rate increase, because Janice’s work is worth it, and this client has the budget for it.
I asked her to think about sending that email and notice where in her body she felt the fear. She noticed it in her chest and her throat. The intensity was an 8 out of 10. I asked everyone to tap along and repeat the words I said, whether those words applied to them or not. I focused on Janice as we tapped, but looked around often to see how everyone else was responding.
“Even though I feel fear when I think about sending an email to my client, letting them know I’m raising my rates, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”
“Even though I feel that fear in my chest and in my throat, I deeply love and accept myself.”
“Even though I’ve been avoiding sending that email, I love and accept myself.”
And so on – through one complete round.
Then I checked back in with Janice. The fear intensity was already down to a 4, and she said that during that round she realized that she was afraid of causing a conflict. I looked around the room and asked if anyone could relate. All heads nodded “yes.” I then asked Janice where she had learned about being afraid of conflict, and she said that in her family, no one ever argued and no one was comfortable with conflict. So she had LEARNED to be afraid of asking for what she deserves because it might feel like a conflict – even though she didn’t think her client would object.
We then tapped on that belief that she had – “that asking for what I want could cause a conflict, and conflict isn’t ok.” Again, just one round, and her intensity on the original fear was down to a 2. I asked her to imagine sending the email on Monday and notice how fearful she felt. She wasn’t afraid at all. And then Janice said “I just realized that I’m also avoiding talking to my husband about some things, and I see now it’s for the same reason – I’m afraid of conflict.” Janice looked noticeably more relaxed after this very brief Tapping.
This is a great question to ask yourself when you’re feeling stuck. What am I avoiding? Then tap on the answer, and go a bit deeper – or get right to the root of the fear and tap it out. Be as thorough as you can, or get professional help. You will be amazed at how much easier it is to move forward once these unconscious fears have been dissipated.
If you’ve been foIlowing me for even a short time, you know I LOVE Tapping. My experiences with it – for myself and my clients and my friends and family – is amazing. I often give presentations like the one I did this weekend, and I always include a Tapping demonstration! I co-facilitate a monthly MeetUp here in Portland, and the topic is, yep – Tapping! I could give a TEDTalk (I hope to do that soon), and I would find a way to bring Tapping into it. Can’t you just picture an audience full of science-minded people, Tapping along and saying “Even though I think this tapping stuff is silly, I Love and Accept myself!”?
Welcome to PPH – where your dreams really CAN come true! Please let me know how I can support you in your journey.
by Helen McConnell | Oct 16, 2015
Close-mindedness is at the root of “stuckness.” Because until we change our thoughts, everything is pretty much going to stay the same. Oh sure, the situations may change, but when we’re stuck, we find ourselves saying “Same stuff, different day,” and “Why does this always happen to me?” And “I’ve never had a boss who respects me” and “I always attract men who are emotionally unavailable,” and so forth. That is stuck. It’s like the old vinyl record albums when the needle would get stuck in one groove. The record is still going around. Sound is still coming out. But it’s basically the same sound, over and over. We used to call that a “broken record.” Back in those vinyl days, we could often fix the problem by cleaning the dust off the needle, or cleaning the dust out of the groove. But sometimes the record would be scratched, and then more drastic measures were required to play it. But rarely was the record actually “broken.”
Most of us live life as a broken record. We feel as though our way is the best way. And that we have to be right. And we keep repeating old patterns. I do it too!
This past weekend I watched a video by a guy named Tai Lopez. It was a mind-opener. It jumped my internal needle into a new groove, and got me moving forward. And once that happens, I’m open to all kinds of new things.
Today I started making a list of my “AHAs” for this week. I love when my mind starts expanding and the new insights flow in. So I’d like to share some of what has come to me so far this week.
Failure is the new Success. I’ve mentioned before that I do a work-out at a strength training studio called Reinvent. This type of workout is like nothing I’ve ever done before. I’ve been working out here for two years, and the results are phenomenal! At Reinvent, “Failure is Success.” This is because you use each muscle group until that group absolutely fails. You push or pull and resist until you simply can’t anymore. It’s difficult to describe the experience, but it’s as profound a workout as Tapping is a healing tool. In the “failing” is when the muscles really start getting stronger.
This kind of failure is the beginnings of new success. Training at Reinvent actually REVERSES the effects of aging on the muscles and bone density (and possibly in other ways). At Reinvent we use the phrase “go to failure,” which can throw people off. There is a lot of negative connotation with that word.
I was Tapping with a client and we got to Tapping about “failure.” The word alone triggered an emotional response. As we Tapped down various rabbit-holes (emotional threads), this client determined that throughout his life she had often taken the “Easy Out.” Further exploration and she discovered that by taking the easy out, he could avoid failure. Boy could I relate! And maybe you can too! It’s like the subconscious mind says “Just don’t even try to succeed, and you will for sure avoid failure.”
As you read this, I’m sure you can see that this isn’t logical. But I know that this is the subconscious program running in many, many people. I know I’ve experienced it.
If you’ve ever said to yourself: “I should be further along by this point in my life,” or “I would have done [this thing or that thing] but [someone] got in my way,” or “I’m not stupid, why aren’t I more successful?” or something along those lines, there’s a good chance you’ve experienced this internal contradiction too. Maybe you’re still experiencing it.
Want to be free? Begin by Tapping the script below to get to the root of the word “failure.”
Sense into the word “Failure” and notice if it makes you feel uncomfortable. Rate the discomfort, using the 0-10 intensity scale. Write that number down!
(Now Tapping on the Karate Chop Point (KC), say these phrases:)
-Even Though (ET) the word failure makes me really uncomfortable, I Deeply & Completely Love & Accept Myself (ID&CL&AM)-
-ET I feel like a failure sometimes, ID&CL&AM
-ET the word Failure has a negative connotation for me, ID&CL&AM
(Now Tapping through the points – one phrase for each point:)
-Failure
-I don’t like that word
-I don’t like that concept
-I learned early on that failure was “the end.”
-To fail meant I would get in trouble
-Or I would get teased
-Or I would be done with that thing
-I learned early on that failure was the end
-And I’ve been afraid of failure ever since
-I’m afraid of failure
-And I’ll do anything in my power to avoid it
-Including not trying
-I see now how much of my life has been affected by this fear of failure
-And I’d like to get free
-I hope it’s not too late
-Yes, I can get free now
-This fear of failure
-I learned it from others who were afraid of failure
-Or who didn’t understand failure
-Or who were willing to look at MY failures, but not their own
-When I was learning to walk, I fell down often
-When I was learning to ride a bike, I fell off often
-Good thing I didn’t consider those failures
-Or i wouldn’t be walking or riding today
-Each time I fell down or fell off
-I was determined to get up and try again
-Nobody laughed at me then
-I didn’t get in trouble then
-I wonder if I’m still falling off
-Falling off in business
-Falling off in creativity
-Falling off in love
-Falling off in weight loss
-Trying something is just that – trying
-Falling off is the opportunity to get back up and try again
-Getting back up is like practicing
-No one ever got good at anything without practicing
-I wonder if I could release all this heavy emotion around failing?
-I wonder if Failure could have a new meaning for me
-I wonder if I could get a new perspective on failure
-I wonder if it’s possible that failure is just falling off
-I’m all grown up now
-I’m taking responsibility for my own life
-I’m choosing to know that it’s not too late to learn
-I can get back up and ride that bike
-i can get back up and succeed in business
-I can get back up and lose that weight
-I can get back up and create again
-I can get back up and fall in love
-Sometimes I fail
-But I’m not a failure
-I can do this
-I’m seeing failure not as an ending
-But as a new beginning
-A call to rise to a new level
-Failing is not the end
-I am not a failure
-I’m ready to pick myself up and try again
Breathe deeply, in and out. In and out.
Rerate the intensity around the word “Failure.” Write down the new number.
Use this Tapping script again until your number goes down to 0.
More AHA’s in my next newsletter!
I take the pedals off a bike that is a suitable size, and let the woman sit on the seat and push the bike with her feet. It’s like an adult version of a “Skuut,” which is a balance bike for toddlers. We do this “Skuuting” in a vacant parking lot, around an empty track, or on a Bike Boulevard (a city street that is dedicated to cycling, so has very few cars). 
