by Helen McConnell | Sep 30, 2015
For years (before Tapping) I knew I was avoiding all kinds of things. In fact, I used to say “Everything I do is to avoid doing something else.” I knew, for example, that I was working in my garden to avoid paying bills. Or I was paying bills to avoid those nasty phone calls. Or I was baking cookies to avoid doing laundry. Or I was eating those cookies, to avoid feeling something. Mostly I was avoiding FEELING something.
Living by avoidance isn’t at all deliberate. It’s also a lot of work. I didn’t have much inner peace. I have photos of the pre-Tapping clutter in my home. The “outer world” (clutter) was a reflection of my “inner world” (my thoughts and emotions). What a jumbled mess everything was.
But little by little (and sometimes in big chunks) I cleared that clutter. And little by little (and sometimes in big ways) I have untangled many of my emotions and old traumas. Little by little (and sometimes drastically) I have found inner peace. An inner quiet that stays with me for greater and greater periods of time. Minutes at first. Now days, weeks, and even months. This is with the help of Tapping – which gave me mental and emotional clarity, which allowed me to create a meditation practice, which allowed me to see a bigger picture.
I swear, I love Tapping more and more all the time. In a deep respectful way. I tap every day – often many times throughout the day. It is a most-powerful modality. And even though I have seen many miracles, Tapping often surprises even me. It’s interesting to me that I notice the shifts and changes that Tapping brings about – in a much more subtle manner than I did when I first began this journey of energy emotional healing.
As many of you know, I am facilitating a 6-week “Tapping for Weight Loss” Program. As part of my own “food healing,” I recently found myself eating a big bag of Fritos’ “Scoops.” I had eaten most of the bag, licking my salty fingers between handfuls of corn chips, before I even noticed. I was out on a week-long journey, driving a Sprinter van, and working for a vendor at Cycle Oregon. Road-trip mentality had taken over my “appetite,” and I didn’t even think twice about buying the Fritos, or about eating them.
I felt bad, of course, once I became conscious of my food folly. But I’ve learned over the years to not beat myself up. It’s painful and quite useless to give myself mental punishment. A couple of days later, during this same road trip, I found myself eating another bag of Fritos. Now I was much more aware of what I was doing, and how it felt that I “couldn’t stop” eating them.” I ate nearly the whole bag! Again I didn’t beat myself up, but rather, looked at this eating binge with curiosity. I was so busy that week, that I rarely had time for meditation or self-reflection. At the end of each day, I was so exhausted that I would retire early to my tent, and fall asleep immediately. The Fritos-eating events went unexamined.
But then, I was eating my third bag of Fritos in a week. I was driving the Sprinter van to Baker City. Now I was more aware that I was eating uncontrollably. I would grab a handful of fritos, put them in my mouth, and then lick my fingers. I tried eating one at a time. But I still couldn’t stop eating.
A voice in my head suggested: “You could tap about this.” Remember those V-8 ads, where someone was drinking a soda, then saw a vegetable juice, and then put their palm to their forehead, and said “I could have had a V-8!” That’s how I felt in that moment.
Honestly, I wasn’t holding much hope for Tapping and my Fritos affair. But I began Tapping, saying things like “I love the crunch,” “I love the salt,” “That corn taste,” “So many memories attached to Fritos,” and so on. I had only gone two times around the Tapping Points, when I simply closed the bag of Fritos and stopped eating them. I no longer craved them. I mean, I didn’t even WANT them! During that Tapping, I hadn’t felt a giant shift, but rather something as subtle as looking left and then looking right. I was amazed again at the power of this simple modality.
I set the Fritos bag aside, and when I arrived at the next site, I left them in the Sprinter. Three days later, as I drove back to Portland, the unfinished bag of Fritos was in my grocery bag. It’s still sitting on my kitchen counter. (Update: my son ate them last night).
Even though I know the power of Tapping, and even though I have the tools at my fingertips, I “forget” to Tap, or resist Tapping. That fact reminds me of how powerful the subconscious mind is. That part of our mind that is really running our show and creating our reality. Why wouldn’t I spend all my free time Tapping on issues that keep my reality from manifesting quite the way I think I want it. What am I afraid of? What am I avoiding? Ah, the question whose answer continually eludes us.
It took me eating two and a half bags of Fritos before I even thought to Tap. And just before I started, I had a brief moment of “Do I really want to let go of this craving?” You see, there’s still a massive part of me that knows that change = change. And that part of me is still afraid of change – though not nearly as afraid as it once was.
When I Tapped on my Fritios-eating dilemma, I didn’t get a big answer about why I was eating them. At least not at a conscious level that I’m aware of. But the Tapping allowed me to simply disconnect all the emotions from all the tastes, smells, crunches, salty hands, and deep unconscious memories that were attached to Fritos. Whatever was going on that caused me to crave them was now “released,” and the craving was disconnected. Not at all scary. Nothing traumatic to work on. No shameful events to look at. In fact, it was so easy and freeing that I had to wonder “Why didn’t I do this sooner?” (Palm to forehead) “I could have Tapped!”
What are YOU avoiding?
-Do you give in to food or beverage cravings? Does that make you feel both soothed and powerless? Would you like to be free?
-Is there someone you’ve been holding a resentment towards? Does that make you feel both powerful and powerless? Would you like to be free?
-Are you avoiding looking at your finances and creating a relationship with your money? Does that make you feel like you’re “in control” and yet powerless? Would you like to be free?
-Are you avoiding repairing a relationship? Does that make you feel like “It’s not my fault,” and yet miserable?
What are you avoiding? You are spending (wasting) a ton of time and energy avoiding. I know because I’ve done it, and I still do it sometimes.
Imagine a life of non-avoidance. Imagine the freedom! Imagine what’s possible for you when you begin to face and clear some of the “big things” that you’re avoiding.
Tapping makes this all so gentle and efficient and effective. Start Tapping today, and see what begins to change for you. Contact me for one-to-one professional-level Tapping in a confidential, supportive environment – via video conference, phone, or even in person. My clients make great headway, and we have fun. I am holding space for your healing!
by Helen McConnell | Aug 6, 2015
So you might wonder if I do anything that doesn’t have to do with emotions. No, not really. Neither do you! Everything we do is because of our emotions and our thoughts. That creates more emotions. And those create our memories, our reactions, our personality, our reality.
If you want to change some aspect of your reality, it is possible, and much easier than you might imagine – even if you’ve tried “everything.” Of course, Tapping makes this reality shift a reality. I’ve done it many times – for myself and my clients.
When we get a reality-shift, do the trees suddenly look blue instead of green? Do we live in a different house and wake up with a different spouse? No, not at all. Often the trees appear greener than they did before, and often our spouse seems more loving, and so on. But what we’re talking about is releasing old “filters” through which we view and experience the world. Specifically, I look and listen for “limiting beliefs” that may have served my clients at one point in their life, but these beliefs are now limiting them. For example “I’m not smart enough,” or “Money is for those people,” or “If you want to be successful, you have to struggle.” These beliefs are so deeply embedded, that they feel like the truth, and people “have the evidence to prove it.”
Once we identify one of these core beliefs, we do a protocol that I’ve developed to clear out the belief. We cannot clear out anything that is your True Essential Self, so the release of these beliefs always feels like freedom. When the belief no longer resides in our energy system, amazing things begin to happen – we get new opportunities, new ideas, we have new kinds of experiences. These new things imply wouldn’t be possible with the old belief system.
Does this sound intriguing to you? Have you been wanting to change some aspect of your reality? Do you feel like you live in patterns? Ones that aren’t serving you? Watch for my upcoming Online Program called “Retrain Your Brain for Success.” And get ready to really make some big changes! You’ll be able to do the entire program from your computer – no matter where in the world you are! Plus there will be some live Q&A call-ins so you can ask me questions and tap with me.
by Helen McConnell | Aug 6, 2015
Last evening, my sister and I went to see “Inside Out.” I’d been awaiting this film with excited anticipation. My sister hadn’t even watched a trailer – so had no expectations. This film is rated PG, so the previews for upcoming attractions were appropriately rated films. They were awful! (“Uh oh, was I misled about Inside Out?”). But I knew that “Inside Out” is not a kids’ movie, even though it’s animated and created by Pixar for Disney. Well, “Bug’s Life” and “Toy Story” weren’t exactly kids’ movies either :-).
First there was a lovely Pixar “short” called “Lava.” (One of Pixar’s landmarks is a short film before each full length film. The earliest one I remember is “Geri’s Game,” where the two old men are playing chess in the park. Turns out it’s one old man, playing both sides of the table.) Anyway “Lava” is basically an animated Hawaiian love song between two volcanoes. “Things are looking up for the full-length feature!”)
“Inside Out” is the story of the life of a young girl named Riley – from birth to puberty – from the point-of-view of her emotions. Specifically, Joy, Sadness, Fear, Anger, and Disgust, each of which is uniquely personified and color-coded: Joy is yellow (though her hair is blue and her dress is light green); Sadness is blue; Anger is red; Fear is purple, and Disgust is broccoli-green. In true Pixar style, each emotion is given voice by well-known personalities.
Although Joy is in charge of keeping things upbeat and happy for most of the first 12 years of Riley’s life, when the family moves from Minnesota to San Francisco, things get difficult for Riley, and Joy and Sadness are literally sucked out of her consciousness. Now Joy and Sadness must find their way back to “headquarters,” so that Riley isn’t left with just Fear, Disgust, and Anger (the emotions that cause her to sink into the pit of despair, steal her mother’s credit card and get on a bus back to Minnesota).
As it turns out, Sadness, not Joy comes to Riley’s rescue. Which is one of the most brilliant insights of the movie. Joy is a big stretch from despair. Sadness is a higher vibration than despair. Anger is higher than sadness. So Sadness can be a stair-step to joy. And we need the contrasting emotions to be full and feel complete. You really wouldn’t want to be happy all the time!
This wonderful movie isn’t just a delight for the eyes, but it is a fun way to see our emotions, memories, and how the ASPECTS of our personality are formed.
This movie has been out for two months already. But for some reason, it just came to my local theater. I highly recommend it if you haven’t seen it.
by Helen McConnell | Jul 8, 2015
Are you living your life fully? This is a very personal question, and each person can only answer for themselves. Your idea of living life fully will probably look very different than mine. Or anyone else’s for that matter. That’s totally ok and great! Don’t compare your life to anyone else’s!
If you discover that you’re not living as fully as you’d like, please don’t beat yourself up or feel bad. Simply use this discovery as information, and change your direction. Practice the fine art of living life fully!
In this episode of The Authentic Zone Newsletter, I offer 5 tips to more fully Live Your LIFE!
1- Enjoy this moment. Even if it seems like a sucky one. It’s the ONLY one you’ve got. There is a gift in every single moment. Find the gift now.
2- Eliminate meaningless activities. Does what you’re doing now have meaning for YOU? Are you learning, growing, sharing, teaching, feeling gratitude, pausing for meditation, inspiring and upliftingothers? Are you caring, showing compassion, feeling your feelings, loving others, loving yourself? Are you in awe of the world around you? Are you having fun, relaxing, creating? These are some of the meaningful things of life. Notice as you go through your day the things that have meaning for you. If you find yourself in the midst of “meaningless” tasks or activities, see if you can shift your perspective or attitude, or change your activity – for more meaning in your life.
3- LOVE more! Find that place in your heart where love resides. It’s always there and always accessible. Can you feel it? Can you expand it? Can you share it?
4- Learn the fine art of Consciously Manifesting Your Reality. If you don’t like the way things are showing up (or NOT showing up) for you, learn to change your reality. This can be done by changing your perspective, invoking gratitude for every little thing, discovering your core limiting beliefs and releasing them, FEELING as if you already have the things you say you want – for starters. There are many ways to change your reality! It is yours to change.
5- Plan something really FUN (for you!). I’m planning a bicycle tour of Italy, that includes learning how to cook authentic Italian food, practice my Italian lessons, meeting locals, and enjoying the scenery and history. I love creating the itinerary, planning the details, making a packing checklist, finding resources for bikes and tours, looking for cooking lessons, and reaching out to my Italian friends for assistance and ideas. I also love leaving much of the itinerary up to the Universe so that I can have plenty of time to enjoy all the synchronicities and adventures that Life shows me on my journey!
Here’s to Your
Love Life Abundance
Helen
