Close-mindedness is at the root of “stuckness.” Because until we change our thoughts, everything is pretty much going to stay the same. Oh sure, the situations may change, but when we’re stuck, we find ourselves saying “Same stuff, different day,” and “Why does this always happen to me?” And “I’ve never had a boss who respects me” and “I always attract men who are emotionally unavailable,” and so forth. That is stuck. It’s like the old vinyl record albums when the needle would get stuck in one groove. The record is still going around. Sound is still coming out. But it’s basically the same sound, over and over. We used to call that a “broken record.” Back in those vinyl days, we could often fix the problem by cleaning the dust off the needle, or cleaning the dust out of the groove. But sometimes the record would be scratched, and then more drastic measures were required to play it. But rarely was the record actually “broken.”
Most of us live life as a broken record. We feel as though our way is the best way. And that we have to be right. And we keep repeating old patterns. I do it too!
This past weekend I watched a video by a guy named Tai Lopez. It was a mind-opener. It jumped my internal needle into a new groove, and got me moving forward. And once that happens, I’m open to all kinds of new things.
Today I started making a list of my “AHAs” for this week. I love when my mind starts expanding and the new insights flow in. So I’d like to share some of what has come to me so far this week.
Failure is the new Success. I’ve mentioned before that I do a work-out at a strength training studio called Reinvent. This type of workout is like nothing I’ve ever done before. I’ve been working out here for two years, and the results are phenomenal! At Reinvent, “Failure is Success.” This is because you use each muscle group until that group absolutely fails. You push or pull and resist until you simply can’t anymore. It’s difficult to describe the experience, but it’s as profound a workout as Tapping is a healing tool. In the “failing” is when the muscles really start getting stronger.
This kind of failure is the beginnings of new success. Training at Reinvent actually REVERSES the effects of aging on the muscles and bone density (and possibly in other ways). At Reinvent we use the phrase “go to failure,” which can throw people off. There is a lot of negative connotation with that word.
I was Tapping with a client and we got to Tapping about “failure.” The word alone triggered an emotional response. As we Tapped down various rabbit-holes (emotional threads), this client determined that throughout his life she had often taken the “Easy Out.” Further exploration and she discovered that by taking the easy out, he could avoid failure. Boy could I relate! And maybe you can too! It’s like the subconscious mind says “Just don’t even try to succeed, and you will for sure avoid failure.”
As you read this, I’m sure you can see that this isn’t logical. But I know that this is the subconscious program running in many, many people. I know I’ve experienced it.
If you’ve ever said to yourself: “I should be further along by this point in my life,” or “I would have done [this thing or that thing] but [someone] got in my way,” or “I’m not stupid, why aren’t I more successful?” or something along those lines, there’s a good chance you’ve experienced this internal contradiction too. Maybe you’re still experiencing it.
Want to be free? Begin by Tapping the script below to get to the root of the word “failure.”
Sense into the word “Failure” and notice if it makes you feel uncomfortable. Rate the discomfort, using the 0-10 intensity scale. Write that number down!
(Now Tapping on the Karate Chop Point (KC), say these phrases:)
-Even Though (ET) the word failure makes me really uncomfortable, I Deeply & Completely Love & Accept Myself (ID&CL&AM)-
-ET I feel like a failure sometimes, ID&CL&AM
-ET the word Failure has a negative connotation for me, ID&CL&AM
(Now Tapping through the points – one phrase for each point:)
-Failure
-I don’t like that word
-I don’t like that concept
-I learned early on that failure was “the end.”
-To fail meant I would get in trouble
-Or I would get teased
-Or I would be done with that thing
-I learned early on that failure was the end
-And I’ve been afraid of failure ever since
-I’m afraid of failure
-And I’ll do anything in my power to avoid it
-Including not trying
-I see now how much of my life has been affected by this fear of failure
-And I’d like to get free
-I hope it’s not too late
-Yes, I can get free now
-This fear of failure
-I learned it from others who were afraid of failure
-Or who didn’t understand failure
-Or who were willing to look at MY failures, but not their own
-When I was learning to walk, I fell down often
-When I was learning to ride a bike, I fell off often
-Good thing I didn’t consider those failures
-Or i wouldn’t be walking or riding today
-Each time I fell down or fell off
-I was determined to get up and try again
-Nobody laughed at me then
-I didn’t get in trouble then
-I wonder if I’m still falling off
-Falling off in business
-Falling off in creativity
-Falling off in love
-Falling off in weight loss
-Trying something is just that – trying
-Falling off is the opportunity to get back up and try again
-Getting back up is like practicing
-No one ever got good at anything without practicing
-I wonder if I could release all this heavy emotion around failing?
-I wonder if Failure could have a new meaning for me
-I wonder if I could get a new perspective on failure
-I wonder if it’s possible that failure is just falling off
-I’m all grown up now
-I’m taking responsibility for my own life
-I’m choosing to know that it’s not too late to learn
-I can get back up and ride that bike
-i can get back up and succeed in business
-I can get back up and lose that weight
-I can get back up and create again
-I can get back up and fall in love
-Sometimes I fail
-But I’m not a failure
-I can do this
-I’m seeing failure not as an ending
-But as a new beginning
-A call to rise to a new level
-Failing is not the end
-I am not a failure
-I’m ready to pick myself up and try again
Breathe deeply, in and out. In and out.
Rerate the intensity around the word “Failure.” Write down the new number.
Use this Tapping script again until your number goes down to 0.
More AHA’s in my next newsletter!
